More quotes by Groucho Marx

"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own."
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today."
"Humor is reason gone mad."