More quotes by Groucho Marx

"We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own."
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
"Humor is reason gone mad."
"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you."