More quotes by Groucho Marx

"If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."