"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."