I admire Shakespeare enormously. But since I can’t be him, I... - Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"Nothing else matters now that you love me.' - suicide note"

"The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners."

"People are always insinuating that I’m rude. They say things like “Shh,” and “Careful what you say,” and “I think that guy’s listening in on our conversation."

"Husband: a man with hopes of being a lover who settles for being a provider, causing his wife to grow suspicious of her depleting jewelry box."

"A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas."