If I weren’t too proud, I’d boast of my exaggerated opinion... - Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates."

"People are always insinuating that I’m rude. They say things like “Shh,” and “Careful what you say,” and “I think that guy’s listening in on our conversation."

"A mother’s love: the sacred relationship of affording a nanny so as to be tolerated as a granny."

"A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas."

"Love leads people to become lost in their own feelings and ignore the world, so it’s no surprise their love for the world goes unrequited."