"I always wear roller skates when I ride my bicycle. The more wheels the better, and that's what makes me a better lover. You know you want to go for a spin. I'll bring the record player, if you bring 1982 and her little sister, Elton John."
"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but who is the father? Don’t look at me! I wore a condom."
"If you fear rejection, you won’t embrace acceptance. But don’t push yourself onto others, because they won’t pull you close."
"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."
"Quicksand is nature’s way of saying slow down. Me pushing you in quicksand is my way of saying be still and let me love you. Isn’t it funny how a lasso looks like a noose?"
"Lying in bed listless, I wrote a list. I then had a list, but I was still listless. Perhaps because my list was of all the things I love, and every entry was you."