More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."
"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."
"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."