More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."
"I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!"
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."
"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."
"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."