More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I am my own clone. I’m not who I was yesterday, but then again I am."
"I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hour job. Skip college. Read Wikipedia for free instead."
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."