More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do that."
"The fastest way to lose weight is to find religion and start fasting."
"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."
"I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me!"