More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."