More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."