She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I di... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."

"I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. And I didn’t even try! I simply waited. I’ll bet I could even do it in my sleep."

"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."

"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."

"I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me!"