I am the bathtub of love, but all Agatha ever wanted was a s... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I can’t define what love is. That’s like eating a pancake with a waffle instead of a fork. But you know it when you feel it, like petting a cat wearing a synthetic fur coat."

"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her."

"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

"If my name were C. Ross, I’d definitely be religious."