More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours."