More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."
"I wrote you a love letter. I used invisible ink to show I was being transparent with my feelings. And also to hide my feelings."
"My cup is full of air. I should empty it and fill it with love. Or coffee, as the two are synonymous to me."
"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."