I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a... - Woody Allen

"I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak."

"To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition."

"It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to."

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."

"Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic."