More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Microwavable ice cream is the future. Don’t wait for love to melt all over your crotch. Scoop some Ice Cream Soup today."
"Instead of sidewalks, why not sideruns? After all, the pace of life is faster than it has ever been, so I think our infrastructure’s nomenclature should reflect that."
"A slinky is a toy made for stairs, but that’s entirely too tiresome. What about a toy for escalators that doesn’t move and does nothing and that’s the whole point? I think Americans would relate to and embrace that mentality."
"Once you finish having sex, what is there to do but start over?"
"I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects."