#clever

"I like to spoon after I fork."

"When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened."

"I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late."

"Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other."

"An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, “Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you’re not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need."

"Take some cues from some Q’s. Quality and quantity lead to queues."

"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."

"The failure mode of clever is “asshole."

"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."

"There was a time when skepticism was an act of rebellion. Since to a degree I both believe in evolution and have faith, I can only conclude that, as prophesied, to have faith will someday be an act of rebellion."

"One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke."

"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."

"A stick won’t stick to a wall, so why is it called a stick? Likewise, why aren’t love and ghost the same word? Both are dead and invisible."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

"I saw how greatly he suffered the requirement of being clever. It separated him from his soul, and it didn’t get him anything other than a living."

"I had a dream about you. We were standing next to each other, and a stranger asked for the time. My watch said 3:32, and yours said 3:33. I got concerned because somewhere I’d lost a minute, so you and I spent two minutes looking for it."

"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."

"I just bought a bag of potato chips. It was a smart buy, because when this world runs out of clean air, I’ll have plenty in that one little purchase."

"When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on"

"To be heroic is to be courageous enough to die for something; to be inspirational is to be crazy enough to live a little."