I drive as fast as four tire swings hanging from a tree bran... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."

"A Dragon Rose is a flying flower that breathes fire. A relationship isn’t truly a romance if there isn’t a tiny element of danger involved."

"I realize all guys have thorns. But I am a rose, and she chose a cactus over me. I wish her luck with her dry, desert-like existence with him."

"Who we were and who we are are four different people, and the me from now doesn't relate to the me from then, let alone to the you from now."

"She wants to teach me to dance, but how do you instruct water to flow? I'm so fluid all you can do is swim in my moves and drink my essence."