The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christ... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up."
"I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me!"
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."
"I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best."
"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."