The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christ... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."