The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christ... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."
"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."