The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christ... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."