I got a zero. That’s like a perfect ten—it’s only one away f... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She’s ignoring my texts. Maybe she’s dead. Oh, I certainly hope so. I’d hate to think she’s being deliberately unresponsive."

"The words I love you form an oral floral phrase that's so fragrant it can overpower even the most flagrantly foul-mouthed utterance."

"Under the guise of being nice guys, the central bankers have done to the people what no army in history has been evil enough to do."

"I bleed ink for her, because her name is written on my heart. She’s the author of all the love I have to give."

"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."