More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"Some people grow vegetables by day, but I grow shadows by night. Right now my only customer is the US government, but the profit is unbelievable."
"2 out of 4 numbers prefer being in the bottom 50 percent. Half of all lovers also prefer being on the bottom."
"I miss her like 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, and 5 misses 8. When we made love, our two bodies formed one spiral that seemed to cycle to the sky."
"Her dancing inspires me to move. I used to be like a statue, and now I am more like a mannequin. So much more fashionable, you know?"