I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am a... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?"

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."

"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."