"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"I didn’t tackle him. I gave him a flying hug. Sometimes love is up in the air until it hits you."
"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."
"I want to write a song about the only girl I’ve ever loved. And the chorus will say something like, “I really want to see you tonight, so I hope you leave your blinds open."
"Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love."
"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."