"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."
"We made love like two folding lawn chairs. We were both motionless, but the possibility of movement permeated the moment."
"He said he came in second place, so I assumed there were only two competitors. But you never know with love, there may have been a third party involved."
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."