"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."
"I often wear camouflaged pants so when I walk I look like a floating torso. I love with the same air of mystery."
"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"
"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."
"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."