It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. U... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting."

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"I am approximately 96.694444% in love with you. Of course, that’s just a rough estimate."