More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures must also move, and all the words in the book must be spoken and available audibly for all the readers to hear as they watch."
"She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to."
"When it comes to Schopenhauer, I think I need a To-Go box."
"Is there a word halfway between hello and goodbye? Because that’s the word my soul is trying to say."
"Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did."