More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his first name."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."