More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle."
"With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell."
"If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."