I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one ey... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday."
"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag with dirt, because my goal is to be the largest land holder in the world by the time I'm 42."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."