I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one ey... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
"I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep."
"Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday."
"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."
"Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his first name."