More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"I am my own clone. I’m not who I was yesterday, but then again I am."
"I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me!"