More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece."
"I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead."
"I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!"
"I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best."