More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me!"
"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."