On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The charac... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."

"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"

"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."

"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."