Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought h... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday."
"Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."
"I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag with dirt, because my goal is to be the largest land holder in the world by the time I'm 42."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."