More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"When I was a little boy, I used to work in a sweatshop. We made deodorant."
"I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I’m still going on about her."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"My father sacrificed his life for our family when I was growing up. He was one of the bravest, wisest, and most unselfish goats I have ever known, and I will miss his cheese dearly."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."