More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"I'm so excited. I just bought a new file cabinet, some manila folders, some sticky note pads, and a few highlighters, and I think I'm finally ready to enter into organized crime."
"I always appear smarter when I dress up in my giant nipple costume. I know this because I'll overhear people say things like, 'At least he's not a complete boob."