More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday."
"I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?"It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line."