More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Nine out of ten politicians are thieves. The tenth politician is a liar, and the one who conducted the survey."
"I can sell you wine and I can sell you flowers, but I can't sell you romance, because that comes from your heart, and it's free."
"I match my pajamas to my comforter so I can disappear into sleep. I’m camouflaged into noonexistence, where I don’t wake up until 12:00 PM."
"When I dance, I’m so fluid you could drink my moves. And if you sip it with your morning coffee, you’ll be light on your feet all day."
"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."