More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires."
"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."
"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"
"She’s ignoring my texts. Maybe she’s dead. Oh, I certainly hope so. I’d hate to think she’s being deliberately unresponsive."
"I’m an only child, and therefore I gave birth to my parents, because if it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t even be parents."