More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My love for you grows daily, and all it takes is exposure to your sunny disposition, coupled with watering it with coffee."
"Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance."
"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."
"Silver is an investment. It’s like a second-place future. Makes me want to create Michael Phelps-flavored ice cream and eat a whole tub."
"I have liquid lips, and my kisses are smooth as wine. Why pour you a glass when you can drink from the bottle?"