#Funeral

"I'm so popular in life that valets are already starting to park the cars lined up for my funeral, which is expected sometime late 2082. #OutBoastKanye"

"How could you go about choosing something that would hold the half of your heart you had to bury?"

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

"The point is that no matter what you choose to do with your body when you die, it won't, ultimately, be very appealing. If you are inclined to donate yourself to science, you should not let images of dissection or dismemberment put you off. They are no more or less gruesome, in my opinion, than ordinary decay or the sewing shut of your jaws via your nostrils for a funeral viewing."

"Success is a public affair. Failure is a private funeral."

"I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral."

"I hide how I feel, and I hide the fact that I hide how I feel, but I can't bury the past without having a funeral of the heart."

"The more death, the more birth. People are entering, others are exiting. The cry of a baby, the mourning of others. When others cry, the other are laughing and making merry. The world is mingled with sadness, joy, happiness, anger, wealth, poverty, etc."

"If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success."

"Your coffin reached the monstrous hole. And a part of me went down into the muddy earth with you and lay down next to you and died with you."

"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."

"I want words at my funeral. But I guess that means you need life in your life."

"The bad news is the butcher’s dead. The good news is there’ll be no need for a funeral, and I’ve got enough meat to last for weeks."

"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"

"I remembered back to leo's burial and holding your hand. I was eleven and you were six, your hand soft and small in mine. As the vicar said 'in sure and certain hope of the resurrection of eternal life' you turned to me, 'I don't want sure and certain hope I want sure and certain Bee."

"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."

"I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral."