I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behi... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I’m still going on about her."
"I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I’m still going on about her."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive."
"I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag with dirt, because my goal is to be the largest land holder in the world by the time I'm 42."
"When I was a little boy, I used to work in a sweatshop. We made deodorant."
"To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle."