More quotes by Steven Wright

"Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram."
"Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film."
"I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote"so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote."
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."