More quotes by Steven Wright

"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film."