More quotes by Steven Wright

"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
"Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."