More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."
"I want to be a cowboy, but only long enough to barge into a saloon and bellow, "Who's the yellowbelly that stole my happy trail?"
"I want to write a poem about "Truth,""Honor,""Dignity,"and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it."
"I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it."
"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."