I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointmen... - Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to merge a Phoenix with a Camel to create the world's first everlasting cigarette. It'll be a cigarette that rises from its own ashes, so you can keep smoking it indefinitely."

"I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes."

"I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it."

"I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs."

"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."