More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."
"I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it."
"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."
"I want to write a book called, "Bonfires and Bras,"which follows around a young, braless feminist who struggles to adopt in air conditioned rooms, as her hardened nipples cause her excess embarrassment."
"I want to get the words "Courage"and "Bravery"tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."