More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes."
"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."
"I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it."
"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."
"I want to be a cowboy, but only long enough to barge into a saloon and bellow, "Who's the yellowbelly that stole my happy trail?"