More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If you want me, you’d better hurry. Act now, supplies are limited."
"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."
"The size of your sighs tell how deeply you’re in love. How I feel is very much like a stressed and distressed midget trying to breathe."
"That point in the sky where yellow meets blue, that’s a handshake I want to see at a #networking event. Sunglasses sold separately."
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."