#Price

"I want to create a 3-4 deal—buy three for the price of four. Offer valid for any product but love, which is one for the price of two only."

"77 degrees in the fall feels cold, and 77 degrees in the spring feels hot. That’s why I’m selling year-round-nudity for half-price."

"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."

"The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it."

"I’m giving a free concert tonight. Seating is limited, so bring your own toilet. While there is no admission price, if you bring 100 dollars, it’s like a roll of toilet paper."

"I deal in the ideal idea. Buy, sell, or trade, I am offering the best prices on Love."

"Half-assing it twice isn’t giving it 100%, but both can be yours for the one-time low-price of half off. Also on SALE now: My love. Order yours today."

"I’m a master of encouragement. Why should I do work myself when the price of getting others to do it for me is as cheap as cheering them on?"

"I’ll mark up my services 200%, and then offer them to you at a 50% discount—because I like you so much. That’s the Mother-in-law Discount."

"It's the price of success: people start to think you're omnipotent."

"Love will find you eventually, I guarantee it. That’s why you need to buy an invisible cloak from me for the one-time low price of $77,777.77. Offer valid for emotional invalids only."

"A work of art that contains theories is like an object on which the price tag has been left."

"My love is expansive. Your love is expensive."

"Squeeze out the competition—with hugs. I’m giving out FREE hugs while samples last. After that I’ll have to charge an arm and a leg—or maybe just two arms."

"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale."

"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run."

"My heart can hold all the love you give me. If you need to quantify it to properly price it for sale, it would be one gallon."

"Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours."

"With the price of life these days, you've got to get everything for free you can."

"I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women."