"I want to kidnap kids and force them to take useless tests all day long. Wait, that’s what our public education system already does."
"Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off."
"Success, if I simply gave it to you, you wouldn’t have the pleasure of taking it."
"Science, where would scientists be without it? They’d probably still be in my basement, where I left them a few minutes ago."
"I’m hungry to win. I should enter a hotdog eating contest."
"If I knew everything, life would be lonely, as everyone else would want to explore the world, and I’d be content with a cat on my lap sitting in the dark."