I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that ey... - Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."

"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."

"I want to be a cowboy, but only long enough to barge into a saloon and bellow, "Who's the yellowbelly that stole my happy trail?"

"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."

"I want to write a book called, "Bonfires and Bras,"which follows around a young, braless feminist who struggles to adopt in air conditioned rooms, as her hardened nipples cause her excess embarrassment."