More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."
"I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium."
"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."
"I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave."
"I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables."