"I want to write a book called, "Bonfires and Bras,"which follows around a young, braless feminist who struggles to adopt in air conditioned rooms, as her hardened nipples cause her excess embarrassment."
"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."
"I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral."
"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."
"I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it."
"I want to write a poem about "Truth,""Honor,""Dignity,"and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it."