More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best."
"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."
"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."