"I want to sprint into her open arms, but I run as fast as two shoes tied together and thrown over a telephone wire. I’m like Roger Bannister, now that he’s in a wheelchair."
"I love deeply. I love long. I love wide and high. That's right, my love is interdimensional, and my vortex will heal your body and soul."
"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."
"In a good economy, people work hard to succeed. In a bad economy, people work hard to not fail."
"They call alcohol spirits, because it’s the spirit turned liquid. Would you drink my soul if you knew I’d use it to get inside of you? After all, most men buy women alcohol so they can get inside them too."
"I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights."