"I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting."
"A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you."
"If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers."
"Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag."
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."