"The difference between a karate chop and a high five is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. My love can slice like a piece of pizza."
"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."
"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."
"She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter."
"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."